Idle

It's been ages since ive last posted..i know..ive been too busy wasting my time doing practically nothing.Eversince i started my internship ive been caught up in a wicked trance of worthless time consumption. You always hear ppl complaining of how horrid it is but damn..nothing like the real thing.It is quite depressing to study for 7 long weathering years to end up doing dirty/busboy work that requires absolutely no academic knowledge, let alone a medical one.

However u do gain some experience in the long run.Just one of a different sort.How to deal with various personnel, how to tolerate things ur pride would never once upon a time have let u.e.g humiliation from the senior doctors and much worse the nurses.I cant believe a surgery professor warned us interns in an orientation lecture of the nurses in particular stating they had the power to flip ur life over and go as far as destroy the career uve worked so hard and long for in a split second if they so much as dislike u for any reason.He may be exaggerating, no doubt..but it was enough of a message to keep u on guard all the time.

The terrible part is that this internship is scattering all my focalization on the specialty and career ive always wanted and rendering my future a complete blur..bewildered and weary i know im running out of time and should be making up my mind eventually, but based on what? some scrap work i perform in different depts?
Im starting to wonder if ill ever be a doctor..and if i do will i be a good one? do i have what it takes? and who ll be the judge of that anyhow? well not with the rate of "zero education/zero practice" we receive at uni..self-directed learning is also a huge risk to take..wer talkin lives of human beings..i could never trust myself without solid evaluation..

oh well..as usual..another wicked newsflash of my exhausted lingering thghts

thanks for listening
ttyl all;)